getting lost

 If you ask me, the best way to get to know a new place is getting lost in it. Ditch the map, don’t overthink it. You don’t need to know where you want to get. Take a turn, and then another, and then another. Pick a street and walk down it. Or up. However you prefer. Stop by the park that looks soothing, look through someone’s window. Turn around if you don’t like where you got, go back to the nearest intersection and take a different street. And keep on going, until you find yourself in a place that you like. 

That is the way I travel. Why can’t it be the way I live? 

For the longest time I refused to live like that. I wanted a clear plan first. A map, with the route I chose marked on it. With an ending point and everything. And until I got it, I refused to go anywhere. I was so afraid of taking the wrong turn that I just ended up not moving at all. It is not a way to navigate a city, neither is it a way to live.

Impasse. That’s what followed. That and lack of control. Because even though you’re standing still, the world around you keeps on spinning and even though you haven't taken a single step, you end up in a place completely different from where you started. And you had no control over where life took you.

So then I decided to start walking. First very slowly and cautiously. I would stick to the widest streets, safest options. But I kept on going and there was nothing I liked about those wide, big streets. There was nothing interesting on my way and where I was heading didn't seem inviting either. So I abandoned the highways, jumped into the river from the first bridge I encountered. Head first, no safety net. I had no idea where I will be once I swim back to the surface of the water. I was lost, very lost. But then I got out, into the small and narrow streets of life and kept on going. I would take turns whenever I wanted to. From the outside, it looked like I was getting more and more lost, but actually it finally started feeling like I am finally a local in my own life. 

I’ve been to different places and countries on my way, worked as a music manager, PR agent, sales assistant and copywriter. I’ve taken photos, shot videos and put loads of words down on paper. What is the most important, I met on my way tons of people. I’ve made friends. I’ve touched souls and I had my soul touched. I’ve changed. 

Right now I am in Porto, studying Portuguese literature. If four years ago you would've told me that one day I am going to do this, I would probably laugh in your face and say “what for?”. Now I sometimes have to face that question being directed to me. “What for do you do this? What’s the point? Where are you heading?”

The answer is: I have absolutely no idea just yet. But damn am I enjoying what I’m passing by on my way there. Wherever “there” is.